


Why Not Me?

by kiwi05622



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Auror Draco Malfoy, F/M, Ginny Weasley is a Good Friend, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Healer Hermione Granger, Hermione is awkward, Hogwarts Eighth Year, Light Angst, Longing, Oblivious Draco Malfoy, Pining Hermione Granger, Post-Hogwarts, Potion Partners, Some Humor, but I am no comedian, just a small sprinkle of it, she loves him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 04:08:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29430036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiwi05622/pseuds/kiwi05622
Summary: Sometimes, a simple sorry can change someone's perspective of you. And that was precisely what had happened to Hermione. From the moment Draco uttered those words, she couldn't stop thinking about him, which wouldn't be a problem only that he didn't seem to notice her existence.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy
Comments: 20
Kudos: 129
Collections: Dramione Valentine Exchange





	Why Not Me?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [floorcoaster](https://archiveofourown.org/users/floorcoaster/gifts).
  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [DramioneValentineExchange](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/DramioneValentineExchange) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
> 
> Hermione pining for Draco, who doesn't seem to know she exists.
> 
> Dear Floorcoaster,
> 
> Happy Valentines Day! 
> 
> OH GOSH!!! As soon as I saw this prompt, I was like MINE! I had a blast coming up with this story, and I really hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it.
> 
> Enjoy!!
> 
> Kiwi <3 
> 
> I need a moment to thank my wonderful friend and beta,[TakingFlight48](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Takingflight48), for working SO hard on this with me and pulling an all-nighter. I'm so sorry it's submitted late. We eventually did it! I love you so much <3 <3 
> 
> Finally, a huge thank you to the hosts of Dramione Valentine Exchange!

Hermione watched intently as the contents in the cauldron transitioned from a plummy purple to a silver as shiny as a sickle. Clenching her jaw, she purposely compared the colour to anything other than  _ his _ eyes, the eyes that not too long ago had haunted her days and nights. Now, if she wasn't gazing at them during classes, they would likely come visit in her dreams. 

A waft of cedar and apples infiltrated her senses as Draco leaned his hard body against her, his long, lithe arm crossing in front of her to grab another ingredient. She could  _ feel _ the heat emanating off his body. She willed herself to stay calm and stopped her eyes from fluttering shut. 

"You could have asked me to hand over the Eel eye," she said, voice seemingly unaffected. 

"I did," Draco drawled, "three times."

"Oh!" Her eyes went wide as she turned away from him, hair falling forward to hide the blush threatening to rise on her cheeks. Hermione took a few calming breaths and turned to look at him again, clenching her hidden fist in an effort to will her heart to stop beating so fast against her chest. "Sorry, that won't happen again." 

"Are you alright, Granger?" He lifted his brow before adding the contents of her chopping board to the bubbling cauldron. 

_ No,  _ she thought truthfully. She was most definitely not alright, and she was annoyed with herself and her feelings to focus on  _ him _ of all people. 

She couldn't pinpoint precisely when it happened, but she would wager all the galleons in her vaults that it started a few weeks after he apologised. Draco had wrapped his large hands around her arm, yanked her into an abandoned classroom after charms and barely let her speak.

As she watched him pace the dark room, running his hands through his platinum locks and stumbling over his words, she realised she found the entire scene a little endearing. Hermione had stood shell shocked with her mouth hanging open at this entirely foreign scene unfolding before her eyes. 

When she managed to pull herself together she approached the nervous ball of energy and put her hands on his arms, squeezing gently to stop everything. 

Draco stiffened, his eyes dropping to watch her hands and she immediately pulled away, but the warmth on her fingertips lingered for a while after. 

She stood before him, her hands clasped behind her back to stop her from doing anything untoward, and asked him to start over with a gentle smile on her face. He took a deep breath and shut his eyes before breathing out a genuine, "I am sorry." 

She merely nodded her head and told him “ _ thank you” _ before grabbing her bag and exiting the room. Hermione had not instantaneously forgiven him, but it was hard not to see him in a new light after that day. She found her gaze falling on him every now and again at the Great Hall during meal times and inspecting him during the classes they shared. 

Hermione noticed that Draco was quiet most of the time. His demeanour reminded her of sixth year. Although, he lacked the worn look and cloud of misery he had hanging over his head. He would smile every so often. A rounding of his thin lips that made her breath hitch the first time she caught him doing it. He had been in a conversation with Theo when it happened; she stared as Draco looked at his friend and nudged him a few paces back. Hermione had turned away, flustered as she was by this new development before she could see any more. Otherwise, however, he kept his head down and out of trouble. He also didn't make a single bigoted comment about her when they were assigned to work on a term-long project for Potions. 

For the past month and a half, however, Hermione had been talking some sense into herself almost daily. She could not be crushing on Draco Malfoy of all people. She knew how wrong it was. She knew that nothing could ever blossom there. For if she attempted it, she would surely be signing a contract to get her heart broken all over again. She had endured Ron's pleading eyes when she’d confirmed that they would not progress past a stolen adrenaline-fueled kiss and deep friendship. . She had not been seeking an excuse when she told Ron that this was what she wanted. Besides, Hermione was glad to take the opportunity to return to Hogwarts and give herself the distance she needed from everything that had happened between them. But now, she had found herself in this silly predicament. She was hoping it was as foolish as she thought and that it would go away soon. 

However, it was becoming increasingly hard not to be captivated by the wizard in front of her. Draco would start casual conversations with her that she found interesting. Sometimes, Professor Slughorn would even come over and asked them to keep their voices down when their debates would get a little too heated. Hermione would never admit it to anyone, but she enjoyed the times he pushed her buttons. The way he would slightly nudge her under the table to grab her attention, or the way he nudged her elbow with his when she was too engrossed in the assignment to pay attention, it had been all very playful. It probably meant nothing to him, but to her, the moment his knees brushed hers, it sent a river of shivers down her spine. 

_ It was playful but dangerous _ .

However, this playfulness was only experienced when they were working one-on-one. Because outside of that, he almost always pretended she didn't exist, if it had not been for the small nod here and the subtle smile there, she would have thought that he didn't want to be seen with her. 

She looked up towards the clock; it was almost time to leave. With a slight nod she started slowly packing up her belongings whilst running through her mind precisely what she wanted to ask him after class was over. 

The other students slowly filtered out of class at the booming sound of Professor Slughorn dismissing them, until all that remained washer and Draco. 

"Malfoy?" she asked. 

"Yes, Granger." He didn't look up as he stowed his belongings in his bag. 

"Would you like to go to Hogsmead with me on Saturday?" Biting her lip, Hermione shuffled from foot to foot. His hands stilled for a mere second, and he looked at her beneath the silky hair that fell perfectly above his enchanting grey eyes. The intensity in them made her stomach turn, and she hurriedly spoke to amend her request, "N-not as a date, just…as friends? Maybe? Only if you're up for it. You know what, just forget about all this. Alright, I'll see you next class. Bye." 

She swung her bag over her shoulder and scurried away as fast as her short legs would allow. She felt the back of her neck break into a sweat, and she was desperate to run a cold shower down her heated body, maybe the water would also take away her shame. That was a foolish thing to do. What on earth had she been thinking? 

"Granger!" he yelled, and she halted before she stepped through the door to their classroom. She didn't dare turn around. If she had to face him rejecting her, she didn't know if she would be able to hide her feelings or stop the tears that were threatening to fall.

She heard him heavily sigh before he spoke in a softer voice, "No, I don't want to go to Hogsmeade, but it's not because you asked me. I don't fancy going there. I went down to The Three Broomsticks a few weeks ago, and let's just say I am not allowed there anymore—and rightfully so."

Hermione turned around slowly and the broken image of Draco threatened to make her fall apart. All she wanted to do was run towards him and embrace him in a comforting hug, but she stood where she was, clenching the strap of her bag, "Of course. I'm sorry, I didn't think about that. It's fine Malfoy; it was silly to ask. I'll see you around." 

The nod he gave her indicated her dismissal and Hermione turned, ready to leave again, still desperate for that shower. Before she took another step forward, however, he spoke again, "You can come down to the dungeons this Saturday if you'd like. We're hosting a small party. All houses are invited. So, spread the word." 

"Malfoy, you're a prefect." She furrowed her brow. 

"Are you coming?" 

She sighed in defeat. She really did want to see him outside of school hours, "Yes, I'll see you on Saturday then. But nothing too loud and no alcohol for any underage students."

"Of course Granger, I wouldn't think of taking advantage of my position." Draco’s smirk was the last thing she saw before she walked away, butterflies buffeting against her abdomen. 

  
  


"I can't believe you dragged me into this," Ginny whined.

"You promised not to complain. We'll just be there for an hour or so and then head back," Hermione replied, while whipping her sweaty hands on her jumper. Standing in the dank, dimly lit dungeon hallway, she pushed her chest out, lifted her chin to show an air of confidence, and rapped her knuckles three times on the door. 

Hermione bit her lip when no one answered and slowly a sense of dread washed over her. It had never crossed her mind that perhaps Draco might have been lying about the party. 

"Isn't there supposed to be a password?" Ginny inquired. 

"Yes," Hermione sighed. This was all a game. "He never mentioned a password."

As they turned to leave, they heard a skip against the concrete floor and the last thing they wanted was to be ridiculed for being caught there of all places. Hermione clasped Ginny's hand tightly and prepared herself for the onslaught of embarrassment they were about to endure from a Slytherin no doubt. 

Hermione let out a huge breath as Luna approached them with a large grin. She was wearing a blue knitted sweater dress and her hair braided to one side showing off a small, glittery pumpkin earring. 

"Hello." Luna smiled as she stopped beside Hermione. "It's rather cold down here, isn't it?"

"Yes it is, what are you doing here, Luna?" Ginny asked. 

"I was invited to a party, isn't that why you both are down here too?" 

"Erm, we are. But we don't know what the password is." Hermione grimaced. 

"I know it, Theo told me. Shall we?" She smiled dreamily at them, before moving around them and towards the entrance. 

Ginny looked at Hermione and shrugged before pulling her back towards the door. Luna spoke the password and shuffled through and the air slowly warmed up as they reached the common room. 

"Argh! What is  _ she _ doing here?" Hermione snapped her eyes towards the fireplace where she found Pansy standing with a tumbler in one hand and the other resting on her hip. Her gaze slowly moved to the person beside her where Draco was conversing with Blaise. Before anyone could say anything, however, Hermione felt an arm wrap around her shoulder. 

"Shut up Pansy, I invited her." Theo barked back playfully. 

"Ignore her, she knew you were coming. She sometimes fancies making a scene, Granger. Welcome to the Snake Pit. Can I get you something to drink?" He looked down at Hermione. 

Hermione was trying to fight two things at the same time. First, she was astounded at Theo’s casualness and proximity. Secondly, she was tamping down the bubbling anger she felt towards Draco as he stood there without speaking up on her behalf. She didn't need him to defend her presence, but he had been the one to invite her, not Theo. 

"We'll both have whatever you're drinking, Nott." Ginny came to her rescue. 

"Two firewhiskey coming right up. Please make yourself comfortable. We have food over there, and as you can see Granger, there is no one underage. So, please relax and try to have a good time." He smirked and walked away. 

"Are you okay, Hermione?" 

"Yes, why?"

"You haven't said a word since we arrived."

Hermione shook her head and stuffed her hands in her back pocket rocking on the heel of her foot, "I guess I'm just a little nervous, I didn't know what to expect. But the atmosphere seems nice." She smiled. 

By the time Hermione was on her second drink, she felt her muscles finally relax, but it did nothing to settle the butterflies in her stomach every time she saw Draco or heard him bark out a laugh. He never approached her, and so she hadn’t either. Instead, she stayed close to Ginny and Luna and fell into several comfortable conversations with the other students. 

By the time she was on her fourth drink, she and Pansy were laughing hard at some unknown topic. Once settled, and realizing she was taking her final sip of the drink in her hand she knew she had to seek Draco out. She didn’t think she’d feel quite so foolish as she had earlier that week now that she had liquid courage seeping through her veins. So, she’d allow herself one more drink and then she’d confront him on his distance all night. 

Slipping her way across the room, engaging in more small talk than she had in the past seven years of her tenure at Hogwarts, Hermione found Ginny to tell her of her plans.

"Can't we stay for another hour? The party's still going on, and it's Sunday tomorrow. We can sleep in." 

Fighting back a yawn, she shook her head. "I'm quite tired. You stay if you want to, but I'm leaving now. I just need to say goodbye to a few people.” Hermione attempted nonchalance as she looked around the room once again, ignoring the slight sway of the people around her. “Have you seen Malfoy?" With less subtlety than she attempted, Hermione stretched her neck to see above Ginny's shoulder. She tried to spot his telltale hair but couldn't find him anywhere. 

"Hmm, no. I saw him a while ago, but not recently. Maybe he went off to bed?"

"Maybe." With a tinge of disappointment, she turned around to say goodbye but not before Pansy bombarded her by the exit and told her that they should do this another time. 

As Hermione walked up the stairs, she felt a numbness in her steps. She replayed the bizarre night in her mind's eye. Draco had personally invited her to this party, yet made no effort to greet her or even give her a nod of acknowledgement. She didn't know if she should be angry or sad. Would she have minded if she didn't have her pesky feelings clouding in the situation? She still had a good night, after all, still managed to forge tentative new friendships with a few people she would have otherwise never engaged in. As she entered the Gryffindor common room with a sigh of defeat, Hermione slipped into her room and promptly fell asleep, not even bothering to change into night clothes. 

  
  
  


Hermione wanted to make a statement. 

With only a month until she would need to board the Hogwarts Express one last time, she felt a jolt of bravery with each passing day for the upcoming summer ball. 

She's been miserably pining over Draco for the better part of her Eighth year, and it was becoming slightly ridiculous. After their partnership ended in January, Hermione had little interaction with him but not for lack of trying on her part. 

Ginny stood behind Hermione zipping up the emerald dress she had found in Hogsmeade last week while she and her friends were out celebrating her acceptance into the Healer program, pending her N.E.W.T. results. She couldn't take her eyes off the simple floor-length satin dress. It perfectly hugged all her curves and the fabric had begged to go home with her. 

She styled her dress with simple diamond studded earrings and a matching necklace. Her hair styled in loose curls, cascaded down her open back with the help of Ginny. They decided to attend the ball together since neither of them had dates. 

Her eyes darted around the Great Hall to locate the wizard she planned on confessing her feelings to tonight, but a knot of disappointment tightened when she couldn't find his platinum hair within the sea of people. 

She told Ginny she would find her after attending to prefect duties. She checked on the band, the food and also made sure the drinks weren't spiked. She asked the other prefects to keep an extra eye out on any student trying to smuggle alcohol. As she turned around to head back to Ginny, she bumped into a firm body that knocked the air out of her lungs. Warm hands caught her arms to steady her before tumbling off her heels. 

She didn't need to look up to know who it was. His familiar fresh woodsy scent invaded her senses, rendering her completely speechless. 

"Sorry, Granger," he spoke. 

Peering up at him, her throat felt incredibly tight, her mind racing a mile a minute and the awkward silence stretched out for so long, she was too embarrassed to speak now. 

"Are you alright?" He mumbled.

"Y-Yes," she stammered, "Excuse me." She pried her arms free of his warm touch and strolled back to the table she was headed to. Her legs felt heavy and cheeks ablaze. 

Ginny must have noticed her worried expression, and took her hand, tugging her towards the toilets. Once inside the safe, quiet room, she asked, "Hermione, you look like you've just seen a ghost."

"I'm just overwhelmed by all this. It just hit me that this will be my final month at Hogwarts. But I'm fine, I need to take a deep breath," she lied while splashing cold water onto her face and neck. All the bravery she carried with her tonight flew right out the window as soon as he touched her. The ache inside of her intensified tenfold whenever he was near, whenever his intense stormy gaze fell upon her, piercing a hole through her. 

After collecting herself, they walked back to the hall, a piece of upbeat music was playing, and the entire student body was on the dance floor. She decided that she needed a drink, liquid courage to be exact. She turned to ask Ginny who she could go to, to get exactly what she needed. The redhead whispered in her ear that the culprit would be Theo.

Her steps halted as she neared the table where Theo was located when she saw who was sitting next to him. Ignoring Draco's smirk that made her knees weak, she cleared her throat and asked, "Theo, a word, please?" 

"My Granger, you're looking stunning tonight. And you've come with Ginny of all people?" His lips quirked upwards.

Sighing heavily and not in the mood for his wittiness, she crossed her arms and asked, "Can I have some firewhiskey," and before Theo could lie through his teeth, she added, "You don't need to lie. It's fine, and I want some, I'm not here to confiscate them."

Theo looked over his shoulders, making sure a professor wasn't nearby to witness the illegal trade. Once he had confirmed it was all clear, he handed her a silver flask which Hermione snatched and tucked into her silver-encrusted beaded bag. 

"Thank you." Hermione smiled and walked away to the drinks area. She decided to spike her juice so as not to be too obvious. She only needed a small push tonight. She had no plans on getting sloshed out of her mind. 

Once her drink was ready, she took a sip when a familiar scent invaded her nostrils again. She turned her head to the left and found Draco filling up two glasses before turning to her.

"Granger, are you avoiding me?" He drawled.

"No," she stated, it was rather the complete opposite. She was desperate for a chance to speak to him, preferably in private. 

"Well, you look beautiful tonight. Green suits you." He smiled. 

"Thank you," she internally grimaced at how breathy her reply came out. 

He nodded and left. 

As the evening was coming to a close, Hermione felt a wave of disappointment violently thrash inside of her. She acquiesced that her goal for the night was not going to happen. She sat at her table, her vision blurring as she watched Draco and Pansy slowly dance underneath the dim light. Pansy's head laid flat on Draco's chest with a soft smile on her lips. Draco rested his head atop hers with his eyes shut. 

Once the music died down, Pansy lifted her head and looked longingly in his eyes, her smile mimicking his and that's when the first tear slowly rolled down Hermione's hot cheeks. She couldn't watch this anymore. 

Hermione stood angrily, the feet of her chair scraping the wooden floor, she lifted her dress and all but ran out the doors. Her breath was coming out in stutters, her lips caught hard between her teeth, hoping the pain would stop her from crying. 

She yelled out the password to the Fat Lady and rushed through the hole, and until she was safely inside her room was she able to breathe. The dress that had hugged her so comfortably, suddenly became too tight, restricting her oxygen consumption. She tried to pull the zipper back down, and in her moment of frustration, had forgotten that she was a witch and was able to magic her way out of the dress. 

She collapsed on the floor, hyperventilating when she felt soft hands run small circles while slowly unzipping the dress. 

"Hermione, just breath." Ginny's soft voice completely broke her composure. Her entire body shook as she sobbed in her arms. It was a good hour later when Hermione's sobs ebbed away. 

They sat in silence for a moment before Ginny spoke again. 

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" 

Hermione's throat felt too raw to speak, so she simply shook her head. 

"Okay, let's get you in bed." Ginny helped Hermione to her feet, gently laying her on her bed. Hermione caught her hands when she turned to leave and asked if she didn't mind spending the night with her. She didn't want to be left entirely alone with her thoughts. 

The next day, Hermione woke up with an ache behind her lids and a lump in her throat even as she finally told Ginny about her feelings towards Draco. 

* * *

  
  
  


"Hermione, you are needed on the first floor immediately." 

Hermione’s head snapped up at Healer Amanda's panicked tone and threw her clipboard on the table, hurling herself through the white corridor. She learned to take the stairs as they were faster than waiting for the elevator and Hermione broke into a run as she entered a room full of bursting colours as the healers ran around casting spells around a limp body. 

Her eyes went wide, and the veins stood from her neck when his battered face appeared from behind a healer. The only reason she instantly knew who the body belonged to was his platinum blonde hair which was matted with streaks of blood. "What happened?" Hermione felt slightly faint as she spoke. 

"There was a huge explosion on one of his missions, Potter is in the other room, but we need you here. Healer Granger, please assist me with closing up this wound on his leg." 

Her feet were glued to the floor, a rush of dread that he wasn't going to make it invaded her mind. She was profusely sweating under her healer robes and the room started to close in on her. She clutched her palms hard, her nails digging into her skin painfully as she tried taking calming breaths. 

"Granger, now!" 

She shook her head a few times and ran to the screaming healer, pushing down her feelings. 

Hermione was a professional, and she would be treating this patient like any other. 

She could do this. 

It's not like she hadn't seen Draco lately. He would join them for drinks at the Leaky and every so often she would go out to dinner with him and Harry. To Hermione's dismay, Draco had been placed as Harry's partner after passing his Auror training program just under a year ago. As it turned out, Pansy and Draco had not been dating at Hogwarts after all. They had arrived at the ball as friends as she did with Ginny. 

She felt foolish for how she had reacted that night over a year ago but was adamant not to act on her feelings, hopeful they would die out eventually.

That was laughable. 

She still yearned for him, longed to be with him, but it seemed as if the timing was always off. He always had  _ someone _ on his arm. Hermione tried to move on and date other people, but her efforts were futile. None of the wizards she went out with was able to sweep her off her feet. Combined with her lack of time to fully engage in a date due to her enormous working hours, she all but gave up on dating for now. 

By the time they were finished, a few tendrils of Hermione's hair had come loose and were stuck on her wet forehead and neck. There was a consensus amongst the healers that it was best to induce him into a magical coma so he would not feel the pain and it would allow his body to heal without him moving. 

She was tasked with his care, which she tried hard to pass off to a different healer, stating that her training program needed her more. But it had been Harry that insisted his partner would be in better hands with his best friend, and who could deny the saviour of the wizarding world? 

Every day for a week, Hermione would check on his vitals and make sure he was getting all the necessary potions passed through an IV in a timely fashion. She took these opportunities to look at him. In the beginning, Hermione spent a fair amount of time speaking to him while she had her quick lunch and also read to him. She spent long periods of stillness next to his bed looking down at Draco. His handsome face bruised in shapes of a map, his soft lips split. He seemed utterly broken, weak and vulnerable, and it shattered her heart. 

Would she be able to live with herself if Merlin forbade something happened to him and she never even tried to tell him how she felt? A heavy weight settled on her chest, and she hoped she would have the courage to tell him when he finally woke up. 

She lathered a healing balm over his soft skin and lips, and she threaded her fingers through his silky hair. Hermione would never have done this under different circumstances, but she took whatever chance she was given for now. 

A week after the incident, Hermione put her things away when she was notified that Draco had awakened from his coma. All the tense muscles in her body gently released at the pleasant news. 

Now that he was awake and she would finally be able to speak to him, she felt a swoop of emotions roll around her belly as she got closer to his private room. 

She took a step inside the room when her entire body stilled at the unfamiliar occupant. Her gaze followed the blonde witch's hands as she gently placed them on Draco's cheeks, leaning forward for a kiss. 

Hermione involuntarily gasped making Draco and the other unknown witch whip their heads in her direction. She winced at being caught watching such an intimate moment; she schooled her emotions and puffed out her chest. She was a respectable healer, and she was here to do her job. She swallowed the lump in her throat and moved slowly to check on Draco’s vitals. 

The female walked around the bed to stand behind Hermione when she spoke, "How is he?" she said worriedly.

Hermione pasted a smile on her face and turned around, her smile dropped at the sincerity of her expression. Her hand lifted on its own accord to the other witches arm and squeezed gently, "He's quite alright; he just needs to stay for a couple more days." 

"You see Astoria, I told you. I'm in tip-top shape," he croaked, and Hermione's world spun at the sound of his voice. 

Hermione turned to face him, "You are  _ not  _ in tip-top shape just yet Malfoy. How do you feel?" She asked.

"Like I've been hit by the knight bus." His body slumped back, his head hitting the pillow. 

"That's normal, you've been in a coma healing for the past week. I'll get you a few potions to speed up your healing, and you'll be discharged to leave either tomorrow or the day after. It depends on how your body will react to them," Hermione nodded and turned to leave. 

"Wait, Granger." 

She didn't dare turn around; this was all she could manage. Her eyes filled with tears. She was too late  _ again _ . She didn't know what Astoria was to him, but from the intimate moment she walked into a few moments ago, she could just about sum up their relationship. 

"Yes?"

"I didn't know you were my healer." She heard the smirk in his voice. It bloody infuriated her, and she couldn't help the words that escaped her mouth.

"Yeah, there's a lot of things you don't know, Malfoy."

She left without giving him a moment to retort. 

* * *

"Why are you doing this again?" Hermione huffed as she pulled her jumper over the cloud of fluff that was her hair. 

Hermione looked over her shoulder when she was met with silence to peer at the redhead who had her arms crossed over her chest and a smug look on her face. 

"Harry wanted to host a party in celebration of him and Malfoy finally closed the case that nearly killed them both. I think it's the perfect opportunity to let off some steam," she answered. 

The memory of Draco's battered body invaded her mind and she cringed at how badly she reacted in the aftermath. After storming out of his room a few months back, she’d handed Draco's care to a different healer, citing that she had a workload of studying to do to prepare for her upcoming exam. 

She had felt like an idiot once more after speaking to Ginny about what she had seen. Instead of sympathy, Ginny had laughed at her first before settling Hermione down and telling her that she knew for a  _ fact _ that Draco and Astoria are just friends. 

She felt anger and shame at having allowed her feelings to cloud her judgment and interfere with her career. Since that day, she willed herself—albeit difficulty—to not think about the blonde wizard anymore. She wouldn't force something to happen when it wasn't meant to be. She had meticulously avoided seeing him outside of the hospital as well. When Harry or Ginny would invite her out, she would politely decline with a quick quip about how she was either busy or too exhausted from work. 

That worked only a handful of times until they started planning their outings around her schedule. She knew her friends missed her and it was unfair to miss out on time with them simply due to one person. So instead of engaging with him or stuttering out something ridiculous, she made a conscious effort to only speak when spoken to when it came to Draco. This was made all the easier when she realized Draco wasn’t looking or actively speaking to her either. Which hurt; it hurt a lot. He acted as if she didn't exist half the time. 

A warm hand squeezed her shoulder, bringing her back from her stupor, and she looked into Ginny's warm brown eyes. Hermione returned the gesture with a small smile of her own. Ginny knew the pain that Hermione was going through. The witch was relentlessly still encouraging her to take a chance and speak to Draco. Ginny always said she was sure he wouldn't turn her down. 

Hermione never felt courageous when it came to Draco Malfoy. All her Gryffindor courage that she had and often inflicted towards Draco in her earlier years seemed to be thrown out the window when he shed the veil of his hard exterior in her last year at Hogwarts. A small glimpse into what he really was underneath all the facade made her knees weak. 

"I don't know what to do Ginny," she whispered and closed her eyes. Fully aware that the moment she would lay her eyes on his handsome face, the concrete walls that she built around her heart would tumble down and scratch her heart with the heavy ridges of the bricks. 

"It will be okay." Ginny gave a gentle squeeze and stood behind Hermione to start doing her hair, the tone of her voice changing from sympathetic to playful "You are more than how you feel towards him Hermione, and if he can't see what's in front of his eyes, then he's a bloody idiot."

"Thank you." 

After Ginny had tamed Hermione's hair into loose curls that beautifully cascaded down her back, Ginny dashed to her room to get ready quickly when they both realised they were running late. Hermione stood to appraise herself in the mirror when she decided to pin half her hair up and let the rest fall. She wore a deep burgundy jumper threaded with fine shimmer thread that would glisten whenever the light hit it and matched it with one of her favourite black jeans. Harry had told them tonight was  _ casual _ and low key. 

She put on her trainers and waited for Ginny beside the floo of their apartment. 

xxxxxxxx

Hermione was dusting off the soot from her jumper when Luna came dashing towards her, embracing her in a tight hug that knocked the air out of her lungs. 

"Luna!"

"Hermione, I've missed you. Your aura seems off." 

"How was Argentina? You need to tell me all about it." Hermione smiled, ignoring her statement. She had missed Luna, and with her job taking her away and out of the country most of the time, she only saw her sparsely throughout the year. 

"It was brilliant. I have so much to tell you about the new species I work with now, but I also met someone." 

"Oh?" Hermione swallowed hard, trying to mask the disappointment that was her love life. She was happy for her friend, honestly she was, but she couldn't hide how her mouth turned bitter when she was pining for a wizard who had never seen her as more than a friend. 

"His name is Rolf Scamander," she stated proudly. 

"Wait,  _ the _ Scamander? As in the Author-"

"Well, no Hermione, that would be his grandfather." She lifted her hand to stifle her giggle. 

"I know what you meant! I was just wondering if they were from the same family." Hermione laughed along with the blonde witch, all thoughts of Draco flying out her mind. 

"Hermione!" 

Hermione whipped her head at the voice calling for her from across the room and saw Harry waving at her to join them. He stood beside Ginny, Neville and Seamus. 

"Excuse me Luna, but I'll come and find you soon and we can talk more about Argentina and Rolf." She gently squeezed her arm and made her way across the room. 

"Hello, Harry. Enjoying yourself?" Hermione beamed at Harry. 

"Um, yeah, I need your help in the kitchen please." He was already half dragging her towards the kitchen before she had a chance to enquire. 

"What's up, Harry?" Hermione was struggling to breathe and needed a moment to collect herself.

"It's about Malfoy." He dragged his fingers through his messy black hair, making it stick out at odd places. 

She groaned audibly, she didn't need to hear anything about him, and she would never forgive Ginny for spilling the beans to Harry. It was as if Harry was actively trying to make the situation awkward for everyone. He was so desperate for both of them to hook up that it  _ nearly _ made her not want to anymore. Almost, but not entirely. 

"Harry, please," she narrowed her eyes at him, "I just want to have a good time today and celebrate your success."

"Its-its not really about that." His eyes were looking around everywhere but at her, and she knew in that moment exactly what he wanted to tell her, or more likely, warn her. 

As soon as she opened her mouth to ask him to go on, she snapped it shut when two figures entered the quiet kitchen, and her heart started to pick up some speed. Again, she didn't have to look at the person to know who it was. The fresh woodsy scent alerted her of his arrival, and she felt her hands go clammy. She shoved them into the back pocket of her jeans, pasted a fake smile and looked up at him. 

She felt her lips twitch but forced her smile to stay on. At the moment, she didn't care if it looked fake or not. Hermione was trying to calm her racing heart and control her flaring nostrils. 

Draco strolled into the kitchen with that air of arrogance that she absolutely abhorred and loved at the same time. Even for a casual party, he looked so put together and somehow overdressed without trying to. But she assumed from the roll of his sleeve that he did make an effort to dress down. This was his casual, and Hermione's smile softened at that thought. She loved everything about him. 

He was dressed in navy blue dress pants and a crisp white shirt. The top of his shirt was left unbuttoned, and his shoes matched his brown belt. His soft white blonde hair strategically swept away from his face, giving her a beautiful view of his stormy eyes. 

Draco's gaze flicked over to Hermione, and she felt heat rush up her neck and settle onto her cheeks. 

"Granger," he nodded. 

"Draco."  _ What, _ her mind screamed at her for the slip-up.

"Hermione?" He arched an eyebrow at her. 

"Malfoy." She asserted firmly. She hoped he wouldn't concentrate on her slip up. She had never called him by his given name in all the years she'd known him, even after they became…friends. 

His eyes never left Hermione’s, and her heart picked up speed again. She felt small under his intense gaze, and it made her feel uneasy. She felt as though it was just them in the room, everything around her blurred and disappeared until someone cleared their throat and brought her mind back to the kitchen where they weren't the only ones there. 

No, there was an intruder. 

Hermione moved her eyes towards the blonde woman that Draco currently had his arms draped around. 

It looked intimate. 

Draco must have followed her line of sight because he opened his stupid mouth and said, "Sorry, where are my manners. This is Suzanne." 

_ Urgh, what an ugly name, _ she thought bitterly. But she shook that thought from her mind. This was not who she was. Nothing was going on between her and Draco. Draco didn't know anything about how she felt, and it wasn't fair on…Suzanne. Hermione pasted a smile and turned to the beautiful woman and shook her hands. 

"Pleasure."

"But the pleasure is all mine! You're Hermione Granger. I- I- Your role in the war is admirable. I've been looking forward to meeting with you ever since Draco here told me you were friends," she squeaked. 

Hermione canted her head towards Draco and found him smirking back at her. 

"Huh, he's never mentioned you before."  _ Low blow Hermione that was unnecessary _ , she chided herself. She had to get out of this room—all of a sudden it seemed small and suffocating—before she said anything else.

"I apologise, that was rather rude of me."

"It's okay. We've only just met. I assume he didn't get the chance to talk about me," she shook her head, flashing Hermione a reassuring smile that made her muscles relax,  _ perhaps she's not all bad, _ she thought. 

Hermione stepped to the side and made her way out of the kitchen when his voice bounced off the walls and infiltrated her ears and crept down her spine. 

"Granger, are you okay?" 

She turned slowly, and simply smiled at him and nodded, words threatening to spill from her mouth. Words like ‘No, I'm absolutely not okay! Why not me? Am I that undesirable?’ 

"I'm fine. I'll see you around. Enjoy your party." 

xxxxxxxx

"Ouch!" Hermione huffed, her nails biting into her palms as she fisted her hands tightly by her sides. Hermione further clenched her teeth when Ginny grabbed her hand and threaded their fingers under the table, giving it a gentle squeeze. 

"There, squeeze this if you need to," she whispered. Hermione could only nod gratefully. Her hair was piled on top of her head to cool her body after she started to sweat a few moments before. 

It was hours later and only a few remained, sitting around the table drinking and reminiscing while playing card games. 

Theo—who had arrived at the party fashionably late—sat on Hermione’s left, Ginny on the right. Harry and Draco sat across from them. 

Only Draco had a dead weight that sat atop his lap. The body slung  _ its _ arm around Draco's neck while he snaked his arm around  _ its _ waist. 

Hermione had offered more than once to grab her a chair so she could be more  _ comfortable _ . But that made Suzanne sink further against Draco's embrace. So, Hermione stopped asking, lest Suzanne and Draco became one. Harry, bless him, tried to pry them apart by commenting that their PDA made people around the table uncomfortable. But when Draco posed the question if anyone round the table is uncomfortable, he was met with silence. 

So here she was, trapped between two warm bodies, slightly tipsy and severely nauseous at the sight in front of her. All she could do was calm her breath, cool her features while she waited for Ginny to call it a night. 

Thankfully, she didn't have to wait too long. Suzanne dropped her lips next to Draco’s ear and whispered in a low voice. She could hardly hear even though the room wasn't loud. At Draco's nod, he stood and thanked everyone for coming, but he was calling it a night. He told Harry that he would see him at work tomorrow and stepped into the floo with his floozy. 

As soon as he was gone, the palpable tension slowly released and she let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding. She was shocked that no one told her that she was blue in the face. She slumped back on her chair and closed her eyes, willing her heart to calm down, to stop beating for him. She had to try very hard not to picture where and what Draco went to do. It was none of her business what he did and who he did. 

"So, Granger," Theo drawled. 

She opened one eye and found Theo smirking down at her. 

"Don't," she let out a sigh. 

"He doesn't know, does he?"

Releasing another frustrated sigh, she said, "Nope," her lips popping on the emphasised  _ p. _

"I'm surprised he doesn't. You're not the best at hiding your feelings, Granger."

"That doesn't help, Theo." She rubbed her temples at the small hammer pounding behind her eyelids. 

"Hmm," Theo hummed thoughtfully.

"If you have nothing useful to say, then I think it's time for me to go home too."

"Wait, wait. All I'm saying is, maybe you should tell him how you feel. He might think you're," he waved his hand, trying to find his words and landed on, "forbidden fruit."

"That's what I've been telling her all these years," Ginny finally spoke up. 

"Years?" Theo asked, his face bewildered. 

"Not that obvious am I," Hermione said smugly. 

"You just need to tell him, Granger. What's the worst that could happen?" He propped his elbows on top of the table and leaned closer to Hermione. 

She fidgeted with her hands, and she pinched her eyebrows as she thought about Theo’s question. The thought of being rejected by the person she'd been pining over for the past two years was like a bitter pill she didn't know if she would be able to swallow. What if he purposely tried to avoid her after? Her limbs tingled uncomfortably. and she felt her stomach drop. No, she wouldn't allow that to happen. Her vision blurred, and her throat felt thick. She didn't have an answer to his question. 

"I guess, I'm scared,” she said, in a small voice. 

There, that was the truth of it all. Hermione fought against dark wizards and was a war Heroine, but when it came to matters of the heart, she wasn't that brave. 

"I'll think about it," she rose to her feet, not wanting to discuss this any longer. "You can't tell him anything about this."

"It's not my place," Theo winked at her, "Besides, you scare the shit out of me when you're angry, Granger. I do not want a snout for a nose again," he shivered. 

"Ha!" Harry barked out a laugh, "Why have I never heard about this before?"

Hermione bit her cheeks to stop herself from laughing and looked at Theo. 

"You can tell him, I don't care," Theo shrugged. 

"This one," Hermione poked Theo a little harder than she intended, "thought it would be funny if—"

* * *

  
  


And think about it, she did. 

But did Hermione do anything about it?

Absolutely not. 

She spent many nights tossing and turning in her bed thinking how she would do it. How could she approach the topic with him and still be as discreet as possible about her true feelings? 

That was the first step. 

After she figured out  _ how, _ she would need to think about the aftermath. The how would lead to two apparent outcomes. He would either accept it or outright reject her. The last thought never sat well with her, so she pushed it far behind her mind until she needed to visit that daunting thought later. 

She thought about visiting him at his home. But that would be too obvious, too straightforward and the complete opposite of discreet. In the few years that she and Draco had become friendly, Hermione never visited him at his place, nor had he ever invited her over for a casual get together. Furthermore, the thought of him opening his door and finding her on the doorstep made Hermione want to flee before she had even arrived. 

No, that was an awful plan. 

The one thought that stuck out as being plausible would be taking the chance to ask him out for drinks —alone. If they ever met again by chance or if he were invited to one of the get-togethers, she would do it. 

Hermione looked up at her clock, and an exasperated sigh left her lips. The second plan could have worked out if she wasn't trying to make an active effort avoiding him since the last time she saw him at the party. But, the one thing she was not avoiding was lunch. Her stomach rumbled deep within her, and she stood to make her way to St. Mungo's cafeteria on the 11th floor. 

She decided to go up the stairs to shake off the drowsiness that threatened to overtake her. All thoughts of Draco and the useless planning in her head had stolen a few hours of her sleep every night and it was finally catching up to her. 

As she approached the white sliding door, an aromatic smell wafted through the cracks that put a smile on her face. It was Wednesday, which meant beef stew for lunch, one of her favourites. She picked up a tray, muting the buzz of sound coming from behind her as she laid a healthy amount of stew on the right side of the tray along with a couple of warm bread rolls, a side salad, and a bottle of cool water. 

She spun around to locate an empty table or a familiar face she could share a table with; it was hard to eat with her colleague as they all operated on different shifts and took their lunch whenever possible. Hermione chewed on her lips and scanned the room, but like a moth to the flame, her eyes landed on a head of white hair. She gasped and took two steps back, ducking her head low. Her heart sped fast, and she tried to make a run for it until a small voice in her head yelled at her that Draco hadn't even noticed her, and besides, she  _ works _ here. 

Hermione shook her head indignantly, her momentarily reaction shocking her and took two slow steps towards the table where Draco sat. He curled one of his long fingers around a half-eaten green apple, and he had his head bent forward, reading from a small book. How could he be so desirable doing absolutely nothing significant? 

For a single heartbeat, Hermione felt her mouth was stuffed with cotton balls and couldn't get her words out until his head lifted and eyed her with curiosity. Two soft lines appeared in between his eyes, and he had stopped mid-chew when she finally cleared the stubborn lump in her throat and spoke. 

"Hi," she said nervously, grabbing the tray in her hand a little tighter. 

"Hey," Draco replied. 

"Um, are you okay?"

As soon as the words left her mouth, alarm bells sounded in her mind. Hermione went into instant healer mode and racked her mind about what could be wrong with Draco. He had healed entirely when he was discharged over six months ago and shouldn't have any lingering side effects after the explosion. 

Unless, the healer that attended to him after she relieved herself off his case had missed something. Her blood started to simmer underneath her skin at the thought of Draco not receiving adequate care because of his past actions. 

"Do you need me? I mean do you want me to-" Hermione stopped at the smirk Draco threw at her and took a deep breath to calm her racing mind, she knew she sounded like a complete idiot. 

"What I mean to say is, is there anything I can do for you Malfoy? Are you having any symptoms from the expulsion that we may have missed? 

"No."

"Well… Why are you here, then?" She looked around to scan the room to spot a familiar face among the sea of people. 

"Who are you looking for, Granger?" he drawled.

"You just said no, so I'm assuming you've come here with someone else?"

"Yes," he nodded back at her. 

"If you're going to be cryptic, I won't be able to help you," she rolled her eyes at him. 

"What are  _ you _ doing here?"

"I work here!" she whispered harshly.

Draco laughed and pushed the chair that sat in front of him with his feet and pointed with his head towards it, "Sit down, Granger."

"Don't tell me what to do," she bit back. 

"Fine, I guess you'll never know why I'm here then," he shrugged and went back to reading his book. 

He was so infuriating, and at that moment, she questioned why she had been lusting over this man for so many years. But, her curiosity won, and she slammed her tray on the table and sat down on the chair with a loud huff. 

"Tell me," she demanded. 

He bit back a smile and said, "I came with my mother for a check-up, and we ran into a friend of hers that I'm rather not fond of, so I told her I'll be waiting here until she is done. Happy?"

"Very." She narrowed her eyes at him and picked up her fork and proceeded to stab at her beef aggressively. 

Draco gave her an impassive look and went back to reading while Hermione took a moment to school her features and calm herself. She knew all this pent up aggression that she inflicted on him was unwarranted and stemmed from her unreciprocated affection. And that was definitely not his fault. 

She lifted her eyes from her lunch a few times and found him smirking at her, and she couldn't help but return a smile at him at their interaction. 

Hermione took a deep breath through her nose and decided to break the ice.

"How are you, Malfoy?" 

"Good, how have you been?" He closed the book and leaned forward, resting both his elbows on the table and crossing his hands before his chin. He stared her down with his grey eyes, a little mischief lurking beneath them and Hermione squirmed slightly in her seat before she pulled her back straight. 

"I've been good. Work has been keeping me busy," 

"So I've noticed."

"Y-you have?" her voice softened. 

"One would say you were trying to avoid me, Granger, by how little I've seen you around." He sat back in his seat and crossed his arms over his chest. Her eyes dropped towards his mouth and found him biting back a smile. 

"No. I've been swamped with work and with every spare moment I have, I usually spend it either studying or resting. Besides, I didn't think you noticed with Susan around. One would say you were joined at the hip,"

"Susan?" he raised an eyebrow at her. 

"The witch you brought over to your party," she rolled her eyes back at him. 

"Ha!" he barked out a chuckle, "You mean Suzanne?"

Hermione shrugged, claiming indifference at her mix up and hoping it came off as sincere. "Whatever. Yes, her."

"That ended a long time ago. If memory serves me correctly, two days after that night to be precise." 

"Ah." Hermione didn't know how to respond to that. She took another bite of her delicious meal and silence between them stretched out uncomfortably. She groaned inwardly for bringing up the topic and making the situation awkward. She gave herself a mental lecture about being too forward and tossed her plans of being discreet straight out of the window. 

Every time Hermione finally mustered up the courage to ask him out, she either got choked up or found him in the arms of another woman. But here he was, looking at her with a gleam in his eyes while she ate—which was weird—they were alone, and he just told her that he wasn't seeing anyone. Well, he didn't necessarily say it in those words, but she assumed as much since he didn't say he was seeing anyone else when prompted. So she decided to take her chance. Her friends were right; she would never know unless she tried. 

Hermione drank a hefty amount of water to moisten her dry throat, closed her eyes at the sensation of the cool refreshing liquid sliding down her throat, before taking a few calming breaths. She didn't want to stumble over her words. 

"Malfoy, would you like to-" she felt the heat of a blush on her cheeks as she began. 

"Yes." 

"Yes?" Her stomach tightened. 

"I'd love to." His gaze lingered over her. 

"Okay." She nodded with a small smile tugging at her lips. 

But then her eyebrows furrowed, and her heart beat so fast, she thought it would thump right out of her chest. No, he didn't let her say everything she wanted to say. She didn't want any room for misinterpretation, not after how long she'd waited. 

"Listen, Malfoy; I just wanted to be clear. I wanted to ask you if you would like to have a drink with me. As a date." 

"I know what you meant, Granger,"

"And?"

"I'd love to. It's a date, Granger." 

"Okay," her eyes bore into his, and she tried to find anything that would indicate he was trying to make a fool out of her. But she saw only sincerity at his appraising glance.

He knocked her knees with his beneath the table, and she let out the breath she didn't know she was holding and laughed; a hearty, genuine chortle.

  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this story as much as I did writing it. I wanted to give a final shout out to floorcoaster for writing an amazing story (Hindsight, go read it if you haven't) as I laid a few easter eggs from that story to honour it and her.
> 
> I hope you caught them!


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